Everybody is in a good mood at the Scranton branch because we finished our work early and don’t have to come in on Saturday. Everyone but me. I like coming in on Saturday: it’s one less day of the weekend to worry about. One problem: Jim didn’t alert security that they would [...]
Michael announces to the office that he is now on the market. I am also on the market but I am also taken because I am with Angela. Who doesn’t know it yet. But we’ll be together soon.
Michael invited couples only to a dinner party with him and Jan. Since Angela and I are taking a break, Angela went with Andy. I did what anyone would do and invited my aging babysitter.
A lot happened today. Most notably, Jan decided to sue Dunder Mifflin for millions of dollars, and the warehouse bought a ping-pong table. I’m not sure which will cause me to quit first.
Michael is feeling left out after finding out Ryan took a handful of branch managers and even Toby on a wilderness retreat, but didn’t invite him. Toby disgusts me because he has red hair and fair skin. He is a slave to the sun. I bow to no sun. In order [...]
Why do I keep getting passed over!? I’m not even Jewish. Karen!? KAREN is now the regional manager of the Utica branch?? She used her position of power to woo Stanley to her branch. Oh the cunning lass! She is a worthy opponent. For the right price, Stanley agreed to [...]
Michael was excited to know Dunder Mifflin bought television ad space in local markets, including Scranton. I don’t own a television, it’s a sign of weakness. But we decided to create the greatest commercial of all time, which wouldn’t be difficult. But Michael didn’t like the direction the producers were taking…
HOUR LONG SPECIAL. My leader, Michael, is quickly going into debt with Jan renovating his condo. She is his kryptonite, if you will. He tries to get money anyway he can, including asking us employees for a loan. What’s mine is his.
It’s the launch of the new Dunder Mifflin Infinity website, and Michael is anticipating going to the launch party in NYC. Personally, I prefer my farm to NYC. Good old fashioned Schrute manure.
Michael came clean at the office, admitting he ran over Meredith but she was going to be fine. I suggested we destroy Meredith and dump her body in the river. Michael disagreed strongly.
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